OK, so it happened. I totally butted heads with one of my female members tonight. So much so that she threw the bar and walked out. A little back ground here: she is the wife of our #1 guy at the gym and she comes to us very out of shape and overweight. Her husband, not only is our top dog and hopefully will get CFNWT a competitor in the CF Games 2010, but he is invaluable as far as people he has brought in to us. Not including his wife, we have 3 members from him, plus 1 signing up this week after his vacation, plus a couple intro with 2 more tomorrow, plus he brought me 5 kids for our Kids clinic over spring break. This guy is pretty important to us membership wise and someone I value as a competitor, comrade, and friend. This goes beyond firing a client. Her behavior was comparable to a 16 year old and as far as coaching her in the future, that's the mentality I will give her. (No, I'm not saying I will demean her in any way but I will refer back to my high school coaching days when dealing with her attitude). She is not ready to be in the ring with the other CrossFitters. (she picks up movements slow because she is watching her husband instead of me demonstrating/teaching movements, her husband reteaches her everything which devalues me as a coach, and then she always "doesn't get" the workouts so she needs a 1-on-1 babysitter the entire class which means my other members aren't getting a coach) The first couple times, we were ok with it, since she was a beginner, and she warned us she would be hard to coach, and conveniently, Kevin and I both were there to coach class so one of us could take her. Tonight, Kev was fireman and it came to a PEAK tonight where I rode her ass hard on the workout and she threw the bar and walked out...followed by her husband who later came back apologizing up and down for her behavior, etc. etc. So, this is what we are going to do, with 44 members, it's time to define the levels of classes. Elites and beginners are not compatible in the same class on a regular basis. Also, she is not ready to be in the classes, period and because the husband member is so valuable, we will extend a one time opportunity for her to get 1-on-1 training with Kevin or I to teach her the basic movements. Kind of a fundamentals course that she must "pass" before going back to classes. Has anyone had experience with this? What other suggestions do you have? Kevin and I both are flat out unwilling to lose this guy as a client and within reason will do what it takes to put in extra effort to see if she can fit in. Basically, what I'm saying is, if and when she decides she doesn't want to come back, it won't be because we didn't try everything we could...within reason.
First... you know the saying "don't ever let them see you sweat"? Well for coaching don't ever let them see you lose your cool. I believe it's worth it (the image your clients have of you) for you to let a tough client to do their wod and then pull them to the side and tell them moving forward those type of reps (or ROM or standards) won;t count for a wod... they could do what they want but you won't put their time up on the board. And then do just that if they haven;t improved. Or put up their time with an note - NO ROM or DOESN'T COUNT. You don't need to call any more attention t o them, the board will do the job... you will also be training your OTHER clients and THOSE clients will continue to be the bearer of the standards and the story telling you need. You want them to tell other people "dude, if you don't do it the right way she's not going to count it."
However, I think your real work is with the husband... I've seen this before. You get a star student, praise them in front of everyone and suddenly they eclipse your authority. What's happened is you've done too much spotlighting. Yeah, I hear he's brought in a ton of people but you can't want new clients to the detriment of your authority in your own box. You need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with him. Explain that here's how you need him to support your coaching... first, if anyone asks him a way to do something during your coaching HE will be asked to leave so he needs to get in the habit of saying "Jennifer is the one to ask that, I'm just taking the class" OR "Jen's the coach, I'm not" I know you're thinking "John, WTF, don't I want my clients helping?" Yes, but he's chipping away at your power, unintentional or not, it's happening. See, if you have a range of -5 (uncooperative, detached)to +5 (gung-ho cheerleader, chatter box know it all, hogs the spotlight) you want all of your clients to be like a +1 or +2. Too far one way or the other is detrimental to your business.
John, Thank you so much for you response. Nothing in that has me WTF! Trust me. I'm not even crying! I was HEATED last night, and VENTING on the forum...Absolutely, I get what we need to do with the husband and I KNOW he will respect it. He's that kind of guy. And if he doesn't get it for whatever reason, well, last night someone put on our blog, "you're either committed or not. there's no in between." His marriage will come first and if she can't commit, and he can't commit to our policies, they will have to leave. Unfortunate as it is...as much as we like him...this is a business. This I thank you John for teaching me. Thanks for your support my friend. I've been eagerly waiting this post ALL DAY!!!
Hi Jen. I am late to this post but I'll offer my thoughts just the same. All the background info is great but the bottom line is this, wife has different needs and needs to be coached differently. It appears she has an attitude and may draw attention to herself? Am I safe to assume she doesn't fully get "it" yet? Perhaps she wants to be pushed hard but isn't really ready for hard? You may have to take a few steps back and figure out how you and your staff can best coach her. I like the idea of pulling her out of the mix and providing her the opportunity to learn and grow in a different environment. She also needs to understand what your expectations are as a coach and what is and isn't acceptable in a class environmnet. Somehow, you need to inform her that her behaviour, words, actions,... have an affect on EVERYONE. Carry on about the positive envornmnet you have and that is why people are there,... She has to get that in order for her succeed. Afterall, this is group coaching not one-on-one.
I have a female client I would LOVE to fire but I can't. Not only are we in a small town, but she is a blabber mouth. ANd, her husband is awesome. He is not a firebreather but a great guy and a super member of our community. So, I am challenged as a coach everytime she is in my class. She keeps me on my toes and I am a better trainer and coach b/c of her. When she pushes my buttons, I just take a deep breath and tell myself, "stand up and coach this woman." Good luck. LEt us know what happens next.
