Tuesday, May 6
Very quick warm-up
3x
10 push-ups
20 sit-ups
30 squats

I’m retiring in a month – and starting to realize the enormity of this decision, as well as the vast number of tasks that have to be completed before I leave.  YIKES!  So, before settling down to tackle some of these things last night, I thought it might be fun to do just a very quick warm-up. 

*blink*

Did I really think that?  That it would be “fun” to do 60 sit-ups, 30 push-ups and 90 squats?

Indeed I did.  That’s precisely the thought that went through my brain.

While I grant that it was, in fact, more “fun” than the rest of the things I accomplished, it was certainly nowhere near what I would have thought of as “fun” about 3 months ago.

I’m torn between being highly elated and greatly disturbed that I’m enjoying this.

Sunday, May 4
Warmup
500m row (legs)
400m row (back)
300 m row (arms)
500 m row (everything)

(3x)
10 push-ups with stability roll
10 ring pull-ups
20 lateral bridges

Workout (3x)
10 shoulder press (52#)
10 pistols
20 Rockys

Saturday, May 3
Warmup (3x)
1000m row
10 push-ups with stability roll
15 arch thumps (I can’t really rock, so it’s more of a thump)
20 squats

Workout (3x)
10 pull-ups (purple band)
30 squats
50 medicine ball twists

Time:  27:48

Okay, so someone here needs to address the Issue of the new timer.  When I first saw it on Wednesday, it was sitting innocently in the front corner.  I didn’t worry about it much, since Becca was there with her eagle-eye, exhorting me to “keep going!” every time I took a rest.  (This ability of hers is a gift – she definitely has more than just two eyeballs in her head.)

However, on Saturday, it was in a new spot – and somehow, everything I did seemed to be facing it.  This new timer – the Super Highly-Illuminated Timer, or SHIT, for short – continued its inexorable ticking up as I watched.  When I needed to take a short rest to finish my set of pull-ups, the big SHIT taunted me with its continued time increase.  My “I just need 3 seconds to rest, then I can finish” was a crock, as the SHIT seems to count three seconds much faster than I.  If I’d had any strength left at all after I finished, I would happily have wrenched it from the wall and thrown it, thereby, of course, having the SHIT hit the fan.

Thursday, May 1
HIKING!

For the first time since I strained my calf, I went for a hike!  It was only about 2 miles, but it was up and down hills!  I definitely felt the stretch and a couple of times I felt a little weakness in the muscle, but I was still able to make it all the way home.  (Note to self:  Next time, build house at BOTTOM of hill, so that the return trip is not UPHILL.  Man, that driveway looked steep and long when I finally returned.) 

I then had homemade cinnamon rolls for dinner, negating any positive effects from the hike. 

I now find myself amused by the “Uses of CrossFit in Daily Life” running tally that I’m keeping in my head.  (Hey, there’s lots of empty space up there these days, so why not?)  It’s actually rather surprising how many opportunities there are (see “water cooler refilling” from 4/30). Then there was the time I found myself at work holding onto a railing, dangling over a 2 story drop, and had to haul myself up onto the ledge (don’t ask, don’t ask).  This was accomplished versus some weird kipping, sideways, pull-up thing – but it worked. 

Or the 110 pound dog who had collapsed on the hiking trail and had to be carried down by his owner and me (a furry Farmer’s walk).  Or the speed and agility I showed last night with the scorpion (don’t ask, don’t ask).  Or when I had to hop upstairs on one foot with bags of groceries, in some weird 1-armed step jump thing because of my strained calf.  (Okay, plus one point for the “weighted step jumps” but minus one point for the fact that the strain itself was caused by working out.  Yeah, maybe that one isn’t a good example.)

So, the conclusion of all of this mental exertion? 

I like cinnamon rolls.

Wednesday, April 30
Warmup – 3x
10 dips
10 OH squats with PVC
20 lateral bridges

Workout – 3x
10 squats 15# db’s
30 hollow rocks
10 1-armed OH squats with 10#
20 arch rocks

Time:  10:34

Okay, so I totally and completely weenied out on the squats.  However, I’m still trying to strengthen my bad calf, so I do NOT want to re-strain it!  Never was the disparity between the two so obvious as on the one-armed squats – one side was not bad at all, but I really struggled on the other side.  That’s why I dropped the weight down so much – the bad leg was really working… but not TOO much.  A heartfelt thanks to Becca for coming up with that special little slice of heaven.  No, really, Becca.  Thank you.  I’ll remember you for this.  I mean that.

As a side note, I appear to be The Only Person capable of changing the water in our cooler at work.  5 gallon water bottle; 8.33 pounds/gallon roughly, for a whopping 41.65 pounds.  Golly.  I could do that even before I started CF; now it’s just remarkably easy.  Clearly, I’m surrounded by weenies.  Note to self:  add push-ups to my interviewing requirements for new employees.

Oh, wait!  I’m RETIRING in 12 days!  Now I have this image of an entire company of weak, dehydrated people, sadly staring at the full water bottles on the floor, unable to figure out how to make the water come out of it.  HAHAHAHA! 

Oh, and to the nice young man who, after completing the Level 2/3 workout before me, made some comment about “Man, that was tough!  I feel like I’m 50 years old!” …  Just wait.  Someday, you, too, will be 50, and I can only hope that some young punk makes the exact same comment to you.  *pffft*

Monday, April 28
Walked up and down my driveway.  Seriously.  Okay, that doesn’t sound like much (although it’s more daunting than it seems, because I live on a hill, and the driveway is both long and steep), but when you lack flexibility and strength in one calf, it’s challenging.  I made a real effort to extend my heel toward the ground when walking uphill.  (Normally, I don’t, but the point of this exercise was to *stretch*.)

I then started mapping a plan to get those darned shoulder presses to 85 pounds in the next 5 weeks.  Okay, a “plan” is a little more grandiose than it sounds.  It’s pretty simple; I have 5 weeks to add 20 pounds.  If I can increase 5 pounds per week, I make it.  (Naturally, any comments/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!)

Week 1 – work on FORM!  This alone should net me a 5 pound increase.  Right now, I’m delicately and gingerly lifting the weight above my head.  A little momentum would go a long way toward an extra 5 pounds.  So, first off, don’t worry about adding weight; just practice (including with an un-weighted stick) to get that explosive movement.  Fortunately, this is a much simpler lift than the Olympic weightlifting, so getting form right won’t take as long.  (Right.  Tell that to my incredibly inflexible shoulders, which do NOT understand why I persist in forcing them behind my ears.)

Week 2 – add 5 pounds.  Get up to 70# this week.  Also work on shoulder flexibility – continue to get my arms comfortable with the range of motion.

Week 3 - back to form.  Don’t worry about the number; just make sure I’m getting every last bit of power out of the movement.

Week 4 – back to the weight!  I need to hit 75# this week.  80# would be great.

Week 5 – Give it a shot!

Jonesy said that this is doable for me.  I really enjoy working on weights with him, which seems so very counter-intuitive.  There’s something incredibly humbling about getting my heavy (to me) weight bar set up, and then having him nonchalantly hand it to me as though it was a paperclip.  (Which, of course, to him, it is.)  Makes me all that much more determined.

I also checked my new Vibram 5-finger shoes, and I believe that I somehow ended up with the exact same ones that he wears.  This, then, I find to be serendipitious and hopefully, portends success in my first weightlifting endeavor!

Hmmm… if I get to Week 4 and haven’t made as much progress as I’d like, perhaps I should pierce my ... ears?

Sunday, April 27
Warmup
1000 m row
10 push-ups
15 hollow rocks
20 squats

Shoulder press:
5 – 3 – 3 – 2 – 2 – 1 – 1
22# - 32# - 45# - 50# - 55# - 60# - 65# - 70# (miss)

21 – 15 – 9
Tricep dips
Squats
Chair sits (20 seconds)

I swear I can do 70# on the shoulder press.  I’m going way too slowly, which means it “sticks” at the halfway point.  Next time…

I also swear that the #*@^% chair sits completely and totally suck.  Obviously, I need to do this more often, since I’m completely inept.  And I have no doubt that those previously mentioned “Evil Ones” will take note of this and force me to do them often in the future.

I also ended up with some *spectacular* bruises on my hip bones (see “pointy and sharp” from 4/26 workout).  I fully intend to wear some sort of belly-baring shirt, to flash said bruises and, when asked about them, blush prettily and stammer, eyes downcast, “Well, I guess we just, you know, overdid it a bit”...

Now, if I can figure out how to work the pathetic-looking hands (see “*ouch* from 4/26 workout) into the story, I will have cemented my reputation prior to my retirement. *smirking*

Saturday, April 26
Warmup
1000 m row
3X:
10 push-ups
15 sit-ups
20 squats

Workout: AMRAP in 20 minutes
10 - sideways rolls
15 – pull-ups (purple band – no black one today!)
20 – squats

4-1/3.  Ugh.  It’s those darned rolls… I’m way too pointy and sharp to be able to do these with any speed, and certainly with no grace at all.  Also ripped open my hands on the pull-ups - *ouch*.  The last set was even more delightfully fun than usual as a result.

However, I rowed with BOTH legs today!  Hooray!  I couldn’t get much range of motion, but at least I was able to do something.  Yes, people, this is what you have to look forward to when you get to my age – being excited that you can row *with both feet*!  Forget about all of the PR’s; just being able to WALK is a great feat.

And so it is.  Perhaps in my quest for improvement, I forget how wonderful it is simply to be able to do these things with any ability at all.  Not everyone can.  (Yes, yes, J, we can continue to quibble over whether people are truly “incapable” or merely “unwilling”; you’ll eventually lose the argument, so why not simply give up now?  I’ve been winning these sorts of discussions since long before you were BORN, child.)

And so, for today, my greatest accomplishment, the one that I feel the very best about is… walking again.  In only three weeks.  Because, for once, I took my recovery at the right pace.  I listened to my body, slowed down and let myself heal, ignoring all the things my head said I NEEDED to be doing.  At full-speed.  Right this instant.

Perhaps that is the most valuable lesson of all.

Wednesday PF Beginner’s Weightlifting

Still don’t have a completely functioning leg, so I substituted shoulder presses for the hang power snatches.

5-5-5-5-5
25#, 35#, 40#, 45#, 50#

1 – 55#
1 – 60#

I was so pleased with the progression (mostly because I started out WAAAYYY too light) that I tried adding a bit just to see where I could go.  I might have been able to go to 65#, but I didn’t want to lose the weight and try to step back quickly – my leg still can’t handle that.

Becca pointed out the 1RM numbers on the board – they range from 80-90 pounds for women.  I might actually have a shot at getting up there!  Woo-hoo!

And, again, I was absolutely amazed at how wonderful the people at PF are.  As someone who has spent a career fixing “unhealthy” businesses, to find a well-run facility that somehow manages to encourage competition without ego is astonishing.  I’m going to miss that when I leave! Perhaps I’ll just make recordings of the encouraging words - I could hook that up to a voice-activated and/or time-based system that will, when prompted or at a particular time, replay “Good job, Cindy!” or “5 more seconds!  You can do it!”.  Hmmm… perhaps a new business model here, licensing personalized PF trainer audio?

Yeah.  I need to retire…  clearly, my brain is going.

—-We’re all here, because we’re not all there…——

Sunday, April 20:

Warmup (3X):
10 push-ups
15 sit-ups
20 lateral bridges

Workout (3X):
250M (1-legged rowing still)
21 – arch rocks
15 – chest presses (20# dumbbells)
9 – knees to elbows

Who came up with the whole “hang from a bar and pull your knees up to your elbows” idea?  Seriously, what’s wrong with just “hang from a bar”?  (muttering darkly)

Reading other people’s workout logs is often depressing – makes me feel weak and underachieving.  Being forcibly slowed down by not being able to #!$@* WALK has put me even more behind schedule and is beginning to frustrate me.  With only 19 days of work and 48 days total left (yes, yes, I’m still counting!) to do everything that needs to be done before I retire and move, trying to keep up with my customary pace of life (which is insane, anyway) is… nuts.  However, I just read Carolyn’s workout log and I realized she’s quite right – it IS okay to adjust at certain times of your life. 

Mind you, I *am* nuts and, in fact, more than willing to push myself even farther.  But, her blog reminded me that CrossFit is a journey and that someday – 49 days, to be precise – I’ll have all the time in the world to focus on it.  Until then, trying to push myself to the max while I’m sleeping little, eating poorly and, in general, just not at my best is not only nuts, it’s very probably stupid.

Which I try not to be.

So, to all of you with your great workout times and your weights and everything else… just wait.  Because those of us who are quietly arranging our lives, trying to get through our crazy days and nights but planning for that time when things settle down for us… someday, we’re going to make TIME.

And then we’re going to seriously kick your butts.  And we will enjoy it.

You have been warned.

*smiling, as always*

Warmup – 3X
10 push-ups
10 sit-ups with AbMat
20 plank-ups
Several minutes hobbling around on my cane to loosen up my calf (Okay, this doesn’t really count, but truly, it SHOULD)

Workout - 3X
10 pullups (purple & black bands)
20 seated shoulder presses (15# dumbbells)
30 ring pullups
40 sit-ups with AbMat
50 medicine ball rotations

Today, I figured out something about the PF instructors.  Think about it – Andy, walking around like some merry, giggling elf, Becca, smiling sweetly while exhorting me to keep going, Jonesy, perkily counting down the reps reminding me “You can do it!”… they all seem so very pleasant and happy, don’t they?  Smiling, laughing, cheerfully leading class…

Do not let this fool you.

These are cruel, horrible people.  Oh, I’m sure they really BELIEVE, in their shriveled little black hearts, that they’re doing good things for you.  I’ve even been told that it’s really ME who is putting myself through this – they have nothing to do with the pain being inflicted.  I am no longer blinded by this.  I recognize them for what they are.

And, hopefully, someday, I’ll be just like them.

*smiling*

I’ve been remiss in my posting.  My goals right now are probably different than anyone else’s, since I’m retiring!  Yep – I’m so excited!  So, here I am, trying to wrap up several businesses, sell a couple of houses, buy some commercial property, and just in general try to close out decades of life.  It’s a fascinating process.

And, of course, doing all of this in 90 days.  (Yes, I *am* crazy.)

While I always keep track of my workouts, I’m less concerned about my numbers right now, since I’m working really hard on form.  With my impending retirement (20-1/2 days of work left – not that I’m counting!), I need to get as many movements in my head/body as I can, so that I can workout on my own.

Of course, that got totally sidetracked last week.  Having not jumped rope since before most anyone reading this was *born*, I was just reacquainting myself with the silly creature by jumping different ways, when I ripped a calf muscle.  Instant, searing pain went shooting up my leg.  Biting back any number of expletives, I hobbled to the nearest wall for balance.  Mercifully, we’ll draw the curtain over the following horrifying and graphic images, including my calf swelling to the size of, say, Jonesy’s.  It was spectacular. 

I’m pleased to say that it’s improving, although mornings really suck.  That first rush of feeling when the blood heads downward as I throw my leg over the bed… ah, nothing like excruciating pain to really wake you up!  At least it’s starting to lengthen more now.  For a while, I was keeping a pair of high heeled shoes next to the bed to put on in the morning, since I couldn’t get my heel to extend to the ground.  I felt like some middle-aged hooker-in-training as I wandered around the house in a robe and 4” red pumps.

So, back to workout on Wednesday.  Becca helped adjust the workout for me, since there was no way something like an overhead squat was going to happen.

And personally, I felt I cut quite a stunning figure, hobbling around with my cane at a CrossFit facility.  I could help scare off the weenies…

Warmup (3X):
10 sit-ups with AbMat
10 push-ups

Workout (4X):
10 shoulder press (25#)
10 pull-ups (purple/black bands)
15 dips (purple/black bands)
20 sit-ups

Time:  19:09

1/21/08:  My first day.  Always a little nervous when I walk into a new place – will I like it?  Will they like me?  Is this what I want?  Will I be one of the cool kids?

I was met at the gate by a darling dog, who wagged her tail happily and seemed delighted to see me.  A great start!  I then noticed a bright orange “Puke Bucket” near the door.  A nice dog and a puke bucket.  I decided I could love this place.

Andy came out to greet me and handed me the usual packet of waivers to sign.  I sat down next to the dog, who had nestled herself comfortably onto her dog bed.  Scanning the forms, it seemed full of the customary “you could die if you do this” alarming language.  Fortunately, I had my contacts in, so my close-up vision was fairly blurry anyway.  In the meantime, the dog was settling herself into for a nice nap.  I decided I could love this dog.

My first impression of Andy was one of a happy, confident person.  His enthusiasm for CrossFit was contagious – I wanted to try it myself!  I decided I could love Andy, too.

After describing “the cliff” that CrossFitters go right up to, he explained that sometimes people do go over the cliff, but that they endeavor to keep their students from doing that.  Nodding sagely, I assured him that I would try to stay on the right side of it.  Of course, within the next 20 minutes, I would blithely throw myself right off that cliff.

We then got to the actual “test workout”.  I sat down at a rowing machine – I’d never been on one before.  After a brief pull or two, I thought this was pretty cool!  Andy gave me some estimates of reasonable times to be rowing to and I gave this a shot.  It seemed like a pretty nifty machine and I felt that I was going to be able to handle this.  I decided I could love this machine.

He then said that I would be doing pull-ups.  Recognizing at this point that he was totally insane, I politely pointed out that wasn’t going to happen in this lifetime.  Smiling broadly, he introduced me to the concept of rubber bands.  Stepping into one and bouncing experimentally, I smiled back and agreed that yes, I could do this.  I decided I love rubber bands, too.

And then he got out the stopwatch.  I started rowing.  500m.  Doesn’t sound that bad… until about 1/3 of the way in.  It seemed as though the counter just wasn’t moving that fast.  About halfway, I started really feeling it.  I decided I hate this machine.

Got through that.  On to do squats.  Painful is the only word I can think of to describe it.  From here on, it gets a bit hazy.  I remember sit-ups, then push-ups (Andy took pity on me at this point and let me do them on my knees).  Then we got to the pull-ups… the rubber band that seemed to make life so easy just minutes before, now didn’t seem to help at all.  Sneaky things, they obviously turn on you when you’re not looking.  I decided I hate rubber bands.

Got through it and Andy invited me back to the office to talk about “real” training.  As if the last 7 minutes and 48 seconds weren’t “real”!  I decided I might hate Andy, too.  Heck, at the rate I was going, I’d probably start to hate the dog soon, as well.

I realized at this point that being vertical was just not in my near future.  Saying breezily, “I’ll just lie down on the floor for a minute to catch my breath”, I collapsed and tried not to throw up or pass out.  I wasn’t sure what the required qualifications for joining were, but I was fairly certain that neither of those would endear me to Andy or the fellow students who were milling about, looking at me curiously.  (Andy’s cheerful comment that I was “the new rug” would normally have been met with a snarl, except that at that point I figured I was in no position to defend myself if he took exception.)

So.  My first trial.  Less than 8 minutes to complete – hardly good, but, considering that I’d been leading a very sedentary life, not too bad.  Naturally, I wanted to join!  Anything that could kick my butt so completely in less than 10 minutes HAD to be wonderful!  I signed up.

Andy politely suggested that I might want to watch a class.  I suspect this was largely due to his experienced eye recognizing that putting me into a car on the streets wasn’t such a great idea until I regained my equilibrium.  It was quite courteous of him to allow me to save face with that suggestion, rather than simply saying I’d be a menace out there in my state.  Perhaps he’s not such a bad guy, after all.

I went in and settled next to the dog.  She licked my hand sympathetically, then curled up with her head on my arm and fell fast asleep.  I gently petted her and she snored softly.  It was so relaxing that I felt better almost immediately.

Okay, at least I still love the dog.

500 m row
40 squats
30 sit-ups
20 push-ups
10 pull-ups

7 minutes, 48 seconds